[note: re-reading this in a normal state, i realize there are many errors which may render it incomprehensible (like entire words missing that i apparently believed i had typed). i think this is fitting, so im going to leave it alone]
dammitdammitsonofabitch.
if i'd started my entry SIX minutes ago i would have been able to type that it was thursday, which it is according to my sleep deprived brain. thursday.
so apparently i need to deflate and become a self-pitying pile of useless trash for awhile every once in awhile. ha! i laugh at thee, former funked out lowstate! ha! haha! and i shall taunt thee once again!
mLak!
wow, during the AwayFromComputer part of my life (that would be the majority of it), i think of all these interesting things to comment on in my diary but when i sit down all that comes out is nonsense. m. well, it probably helps that i slept a little over an hour this morning and all i ate today was an iced cappacino and some pepperoni pizza combos. thats right. conventional brand AND they tested the fake flavorings out using real assholes and eyelids first!
i checked the label, there are no actual meat products in pepperoni pizza combos - which is probably a lot scarier and worse than if it was a real cowpigwhatever.
today i Accomplished Things. it seems Accomplishing Things and Sleep Deprevation are the keys to happiness. tho said state of well-being is secondary to the cause; i Accomplished Things coz i had a Lot To Do and Not Enough Time. thus i didnt sleep or eat. well i get a funky stomache if i dont sleep anyway - like no appetite except sometimes if i am craving something very specific then i HAVE TO have that thing.
part of my Accomplishing Things will hopefully soon send me off to a place where i can pay taxes and kill off half the free world with my contribution to the bush administration. also, like every thursday we had theater practice. and tomorrow i head off to mpls for the senegal student reunion thing. which i hope should be cool. before i went, i thought all those former senegalese students hanging out together were a bunch of dorks. now i get it. oh! and i actually put every one of my fucking photos into real live albums with (gasp) commentary. yeah. i didnt even do that for my three week trip to france when i was 17.
umm oh and now that i like a form of music that is popular, as in, actually on the radio on a regular basis; i have a radio station to listen to. 105.9 is madison's home of bad american rap and hip hop; gotta love it. its really interesting liking something musically that so many other people like. its like joining a club or something, only you didnt do anything.
my dad came over the other day and brought a bunch of junk i dont remember ever owning from g-mas attic. but the jewel of the piles of dusty old child things, was a box of lovely BOOKS. now i have at least a dozen short story collections, black civil rights movement, novels, and essays to choose from. including the older version of the tao of physics, which i never did finish reading. im excited! oh, and the collected works of jean jaques rousseau - ive never read any rousseau.
super. and i cleaned the piss out of the house today. there is something so satisfying about taking total chaos and bit by bit arranging it into order; wiping off long-lost counters and watching how everything shines afterwards.. thats it, fuck social justice. im going to be a cleaning lady. (im not sure if im being ironic here - scary)
so, here's to the next round of Everything Sucks. (i guess this is where i raise my bottle of water?) im sure it will come eventually, life seems to be like that. but the couple days after you snap out of your idiocy are this nice relief, not unlike taking a large dump or showering after wallowing in your own filth for far too long. ah, words of poetry. touching, eh?
