well, i "directed" a stilt-making and walking workshop today for the madlibplayers(thats me on the far left with my PVC didgery-doo). we have enough materials for nine pairs of stilts, and we only got through four before we decided to quit the making and start the learning, and there was only four of us left (well, i have my own stilts). while we were planning on making stilts for everyone who wanted them, we were also losing daylight. so we walked over to the park. some people had more success than others at it. the person who had the most difficulty incidentally also never learned how to ride a bike(!). he has a shit load of practice to do before he will be able to do it. the other two didnt really achieve full out independent walking, but its clear they will soon. i think i did in like 20 minutes, but im not sure whether thats a credit to my balance or to the conditions in which i learned. so that was pretty cool. i've been feeling pretty fuckin nihilistic lately, tho. activism is a hard thing to keep up, its much easier if you just go about your business. activism feeds me joy, but it also feeds me despair. the more i learn the more i know how deeply fucked things really are, and sometimes i really wonder what the fucking point is. like i should just start chain smoking marbs in a nike outfit and eat only mac n cheese and mcdonalds while driving around a stretch SUV and spraying aqua net into the air just for the hell of it.
a lot of this started .. last week? earlier this week? what week is sunday a part of anyway? well, when i watched the war at home. it talked about activism in madison (mainly addressing activism among male college students), leading up to the bombing of the math army building, which killed an "innocent" person (is anyone really innocent?) and killed the anti-war movement for the most part. afterwards there was a discussion panel and such with some of the activists of the time and most of the crowd that came seems to have been there as well. it was utterly fucking hopeless. i mean, informants and police brutality and etc. and what difference did it make? barely made a scratch. it changed the campaigns of the presidents to be. big fucking deal, i dont need more horseshit from a bunch of white talking heads - i need ACTION.
then last night i saw a film about chomsky and manufacturing consent (the role of the media in controlling the masses), which informed me about east timor. i hadnt really known anything about it. so there is one more atrocity to the list of shit to weigh in. and probably most people dont give a fuck.
and why dont they? why do i? are they just fucking stupid? is it social conditioning? is it a neurological deformity, like tourrett's syndrome? oh, and will the spelling nazi who corrected me for fucking up "podiatrist" leave their info next time...i mean, i guess its good to know how to spell a word and all but i have claimed multiple times on here that i cant spell for shit. i bring this up because i am probably spelling tourrett's wrong.
what the hell is wrong with people? sometimes i think the sooner the nuclear war busts out, the better. i hope all those assholes in washington get the slow skin burny cancer sort of nuclear death. all the money in the world aint gonna do shit for them then.
there is this poster i have of a navajo woman standing on a rock of some sort, and it reads as follows:
only after the last tree has been cut down,
only after the last river has been poisoned,
only after the last fish has been caught,
only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.
--cree indian prophecy
you hear that you fuckpoles?? you're going to DIE just like the rest of us, and all your fucking property rights and porsches arent going to do SHIT to stop that from happening.
im not feeling very fucking zen/buddhist today.
well, on the positive side ponge should be here tomorrow. i say "should be" because he is flying into jfk and only has three hours to go through immigration and customs and get his bag and go to la guardia to catch his flight to chicago. everyone is like, there is no way in hell he will make it. so the contingent plan is for him to catch a later flight to chi-town, but one never knows. personally i wouldnt really be surprised if he *did* make the flight, despite everyone's condemnation of that possibility. but i am prepared also to wait a little longer. whatever. i've waited this long, i can certainly wait a little longer.
i think my brother is moving out of carrie's apartment to an efficiency closer to where he works. i think this is a good thing, if they can swing it financially. its not healthy to scream and fight and be unreasonably dependent on another person for your self-esteem and such. and its not good for summer to be around that. if they didnt live together, they probably would find it easier to be decent to each other in front of her.
