today is beautiful, its like 80 degrees and theres a nice wind blowing. cloudless, as always. spring semester is definitely a more comfortable time to be here. damn, pretty soon my time cycles are going to move in different modes than fall semester, spring semester, may session, and summer session. ive been in school for...19 years if you count preschool. maybe someday ill say some shit like; in october such and such happened, instead of; fall semester was like this..my fucking insides hurt. on the right side. supposedly you switch ovaries every month. well this month its obviously my anatomical left that is doing the work cuz thats where ive been feeling pain. today is wierd though, usually its just a little throb here and there but a couple hours ago a larger area started to hurt and has been constantly hurting since. (woo hoo!) im glad i have an appointment with my gynocologist on thursday. its really odd to have corporal pain like that. im more used to joint and limb pain from when i acquired RSDS (reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome) when i was 17 (i still have chronic pain but its better than it was by far). besides a concussion, when i was little i had no serious injuries or maladies. no broken bones or pneumonia prior to 15. then i had pneumonia once and bronchitus twice in the space of six months. though i think that had something to do with constantly tripping out and chain smoking and going to raves all night and wondering if one of my friends might off themselves before the next time i saw them (turns out only one of them did - and he was more a heavy acquaintance than friend). stress/activity-induced compromised immune system and whatnot. i think maybe all the childhood pining to be the kid on crutches has come back to haunt me. heh. stupid mortality.
right. next subject. i definitely do not like being fingered in the ass. ponge did it for awhile and i tried it, but it sucks so i told him i didnt like it. he apologized, i said not to worry coz i hadnt tried it (much) and now i know for sure. it kind of hurts and feels a lot like im taking a shit. ive heard that guys like it coz it rubs their prostate in a pleasant way. not being a possessor of one, i have no clue about that mess. so i spent the day with ponge on, hey, yesterday (wow time is fucked when i have no real responsibilities - still waiting to start my research internship) and he didnt have a condom so we just messed around and played and talked and laughed in his room for like six hours. it was really fucking great. i swear, wanting sex is better than getting it most of the time.
i have felt a lot closer to him since we talked about the whole money and VISA mess.. right now im really happy to be with him, which is really a nice thing. he makes me think that if i wasnt agnostic-queer-buddhist-etc and instead was straight and nonquestioning i would probably think about the possibility of settling down with him. i mean, im 22 and hes almost 24; if i was a senegalese woman.. well i was going to say maybe i would consider myself child-bearing age but then i remembered by the pain in my side that my ovaries are all fucked up anyway. kind of a moot point, eh? yeah, the shaft...
..right, right. oh, and i realized i absolutely love when he kisses my neck all nice like, hard but soft at the same time, and then moves up and basically eats out my ear. it sounds really dumb, but holy shit its a powerful turn on! and his lips are the best ive ever kissed, i usually dont like kissing for prolonged periods of time but with him, i dont know what combo of anatomy and skill but its nice. and his body is so smooth and almost hairless, except his soft dreds on top.. i love it when men dont have much hair.
but...im going to bring up gender roles and shit soon. i think we will severly disagree, but maybe i can argue my point? the other day i asked what would happen if a women went to the front of the mosque (few women are allowed in mosques at all, those that are sit in the back. in addition, males always lead prayer even if the male in the house is very young and the females are all elders) and he said that it just wouldnt happen. i pressed and asked well what if it did. he said it just wouldnt, women are in back thats just how it is.
but its interesting because i think the gender role issue is complicated. although there are restrictions, there are also definite rights that come with those restrictions. for example, to my eyes the women are stuck in the kitchen. but to some senegalese men, the woman is who has power over the meals, she has knowledge that men are not capable of and therefore her kitchen status makes her superior, not inferior/servant, in that way.
also, prostitution is legal here. women are required to get clinically certified as clean every month and pay taxes on their prostitution permit. try taking that to our so-called womens lib society and see how many people respond positively. it is likely one of the reasons that senegal has one of the lowest AIDS rates in the "third world."
