today is the prophet mohammed's birthday. that means people pray and such all night and no one works tomorrow. a lot of people make pilgrimmages to their khalifs whether thats in thies (if they are tidiane) or in touba (if they are mouride or baay fall) or whatnot. i have been having the most vivid semi-lucid dreams lately.also ive been waking up at three or four in the morning lately, which is kind of ass.
like last night i dreamt first that i was back in the states, sitting in the porch in my home in sauk (i used to live in sauk prairie, wi; and if my dreams involve me being at my house its frequently that house, havent really figured out why)and i was talking with some people including my mom, and thinking, wow how wierd to be back in the states. i was in shock a little, then i started looking around and i realized ponge wasnt with me and i asked aloud, 'no this isnt right. dont you think this is probably a dream?' everyone else got really blurry except my mom, who's features and mannerisms got exeptionally clear like in real life and she said; 'yeah, yah this is a dream, yah. you are dreaming,' just like she would have said if we had a normal conversation and i remember thinking how totally fucked it was that i was sitting there having a conversation with my dream mom about the fact that i was dreaming..then i woke and it was 3 am i am doing..what? and i am talking with my brother on the phone..later i am told he has died. i begin to wail and cry and i have never felt such loss and i am trying to remember what i said to him last on the phone..'how?' i want to know someone explains to me that 'he died through his own stupidity,' his skull was cracked open and the person used a hard boiled egg to demonstrate. it has something to do with him doing something that he should have known not to do (maybe drinking and riding a motorcycle? i dont recall exactly). later i am in a huge but very dark store, my loss has moved to dull pain that makes my interactions very emotionless. there are two girls who are cashiers and i am talking about these chocolate chocolate chip cookies that also have peanut butter or butterscotch chips in them. for some reason this is also associated with nathans death but i explain that i am strong and so it is still my favorite cookie despite associated memories. then i am looking through hair clips (the kind that are a set of styles and colors attached to a thin piece of white cardboard) that i want to wear for ponge and i's wedding night only each time i flip through the ones hanging on the wall they keep changing and i cant find the one i just saw and liked. i get frustrated and semi-lucid and try to concentrate so the clips stop changing all the time so i can just pick one. then i am not lucid anymmore and i am moving around the back of the store, like a huge used clothing store, looking for something sexy to wear for the wedding night and i find this rad black mini skirt made sort of suede but sort of velvet with metal clips for dope tights and this top that is black and dark,dark green; sort of army like tight in the body region then fine mesh arms from the armpit to the elbow and then solid dark dark green sleeves elbow down that open up to be sort of flowy and loose by the hands; i take the outfit back to the dressing room to try on and pass tons of shoes on the way, i keep an eye out for some bad ass boots to go with the outfit but also remember that i dont have a lot of money. i get to the dressing room and look at myself naked and i have a big pot belly and then i have a really fat upper body and my breasts are tiny and kind of drowning in the other fat; i get semi-lucid again as i think, but this is not how my body looks and i try to get it to look how it is supposed to but its not working; then i get more lucid and hold my breasts and concentrate some more and they start to get bigger and i hold my torso and it slims down and tones up til it is more like normal..then i wake up.
