everything is clean. i've wiped, swiped, mopped, swept, dusted, beat, organized, arranged, and incensed the whole downstairs. it is a beautiful autumn day with fresh air and silence breathing through the rooms. and no one is home... aahh...
yesterday my brother, mom, and ponge and i all went to wyalusing state park, near prairie du chien. the drive was about two hours, very beautiful even tho i was driving and could only pay so much attn to the scenery. ponge had never been hiking before and at first he didnt like it because he wasnt used to walking. he figured it would be nicer if we were jogging or running...ha ha imagine us jogging! me with my painful breasts, my brother is a smoker, and my mom is 51 - all of us far less in shape than he is.
speaking of breasts, i think mine are growing or something. right before p came, i had pre-period breast swell, heaviness, and pain. then i got my period the second day he was here - no nookie for us for even longer! i dont do nookie when im on my rag. its not a necessarily question of blood for me, its really just too much a pain in the ass since i use the keeper. you are all ready to go, then i have to scoot off to the bathroom and clean out the keeper and set it somewhere, then try to get back to where you were..
not that that's impossible, but anyway a few days of wanting each other and not being able to satisfy that desire, once a month, is probably healthy. so right after my period i started taking the pill again (hopefully with more success this time?) and i dont know if its the pill or just being around ponge but my breasts have been freaking out. they seem larger and more round to me, and they are constantly sore to the point where i am now wearing a sports bra all the time, other than when i sleep. fuck, i might even be like, a B or something now. ha.
so..ponge ponge..we are doing well. he is doing well. he went to his first ESL class on thurs, apparently he is like level 3 or 4. now we just have to get him a jobby job plop plop. im feeling suddenly sleepy...maybe my cleaning high is wearing off. ponge doesnt know i have an online diary, and i havent decided if i should tell him about it or not yet. on the one hand, everyone and their mom knows about this diary so its kind of retarded (and unfair) for him not to. on the other, i kind of like the idea of having a space he isnt in...
you know what my mom does that bugs me. the entire kitchen will be shining, and the dishwasher not full. yet she finishes with a plate and just sticks it on the counter instead of taking the two seconds it requires to put it in the dishwater. as i have told ponge, je n'aime pas le desordre. that is, i dont like disorder - especially visual disorder. i understand leaving a dish which must be scrubbed until a later a time - but a plate? come on.
but.. its not my house. i mean, i live here and all. but its not my house. ..speaking of housing situations and therefore money and such, i got my state results back today - and in all positions (entry, advanced, supervisor, something else) i scored an 86.something. i have no idea what the hell that means. the sheet said you had to score a 70 to qualify at all, but i have no state averages, no reference as to whether i did well or not in comparison to other scores. mutherfuck.
ar. headaches drive me from continuing. plus p & my mom came home and he is chatting with his dad on the phone so i am listening really hard to learn coz its i wolof in all.
a'ight.
