feeling ornery and tired of stupid computers. i made a calendar for 2004 with a bunch of beehive graphics. but my comp is out of black ink so i went to print it out upstairs on my mom's comp...except i didnt know how to use the network thingy (we have a mini-network in the house) so i was getting all pissed off and impatient (the file was too big to put on a floppy & thats all my old ass comp has for storage options) and decided to eat some mocha latte cheesecake. my throat has hurt for days and the cats are really getting to me. sneezing and snotting and being cold is pissing me off right now. i feel tired. i feel disconnected too. people ask me how miami was and i dont really know what to say, other than, it was fucked up. i want people to know about stuff but i get sick of saying the same shit over and over. i wonder if i'd be good at documentaries. not that i have any technical training whatsoever in docu equip. but i can pursue it if i want. im pondering going to a bike shop and asking for an apprenticeship. like they let me tag around and learn shit about bikes and ill do whatever menial work i am knowledgable enough to do for them.
my nose is raw from blowing it and my head feels funny. i cant tell if im sort of sick or recovering still from chem exposure or readjusting to cat contaminated areas .... i wish i didnt like things with fur, but i do and i have a really hard time not petting them and letting the cats in my room and such. although sometimes its almost asthmatic the way my respiratory system responds. i need to get into a house with no cats or less cats or something. i need to continue my job search as well. job job.
i went to my friend's spinning last night and it was actually ok, though i was tired and didnt really know how to relate to them. its like i like them but we live such different lives that i dont really know...they are this old school crew that i prolly wil have in my life for some time but our priorities appear to be somewhat different and i feel like a guest alien sometimes when i see them all partying down or something. but last night was pretty chill, the bar wasnt crowded and people werent noticabley getting super fucked. maybe they did so afterwards, but i went home to badly sleep.
i have been badly sleeping, lots of nightmares, lots of waking in the night.
i checked out Hidden In Plain Sight from the infoshop and some people are going to come watch it tonight. im going to make popcorn. i make badass popcorn. ponge made mafet last night and it was really tasty. i felt kind of sick after my nap and didnt want to eat anything but then i felt better and his mafet was fucking awesome.
stutter. what a ramble fuck mess this entry is. ...what a ramble fuck mess my brain patterns are!
