gogogo.Go to the inferno goto thehoedown goto nates goto thetrapezeshow int the par k..
buybuybuy. I am fucking rich. It's sick. If my mom wasn't so rich there is no way in fuck I would be able to go to Senegal. Today we bought about $500 dollars of shit that I will supposedly need there according to all the crap they send me in the mail. There is still more to buy. There was more purchased previously.
I don't like this Madison life. If I lived here for awhile I suppose I could create a new one. I have USED THE CARSOOO MUCH HERE. It makes me unhappy, and I feel drained after a day of car. Bike's drain is a good kind. I am incoherent. I suppose 1 hour of sleep and a day of consumerism will do that...godDAMMIT. Josh asks really good questions about what the hell I'm doing in Senegal and if it's worth the natural resources that I am using to get there. fuckifiknow. Probably not?
I'm tired.
I had a really good night with V. I read some of Becky's online diary(bicyclelove). Maybe if I'm less lazy later I will make mine pretty too.
Once again the race of fitting everyone and everything in before I leave is on. I have so much to do. I can't wait to be on the plane. I can't wait to ride my bike to the Inferno. Cars suckit.
I am building up the nerve to read the letter I wrote to my father actually to him. FUCK IT says a brave part of me, an angry part of me. Let him hear me be honest rather than playing this fucking GAME where its just not worth it to bring up my real personality. Why should I continue some farce of a relatoinship for the sake of its abstract existence if it's based on bullshit? If we are to not speak to each other, let it be because we can't stand one another and not because ... whyever it is now. I didn't want to get into a fight with him, and I still don't, but I don't want to pretend he didnt piss me off, I don't want to pretend.
Honesty in interpersonal relationships has always been a path I haven't regretted the results of....I think.
