16 sept 2002 monday - 18:03

The other night I was showing my family pictures of my friends that I brought along, I had to say V was my amie instead of petite amie, it tripped me out. Also I have the sassy picture of V on Jordan's floor tucked behind some photo so they wouldnt see it; but when they looked at the pictures my sister started to pull out pictures from behind a photo and I started to have a heart attack..but they were different pictures (of Josh and Mary). Plus they were looking at my old sketchbook and I forgot that one of the pages says "I want a girlfriend, a beautifully intelligent nonfuck girlfriend." The sister can read English and she read that outloud - ohhh fuck I thought, but then she asked who wrote that song.. I remembered that I had previously told her that a lot of what was written in there was lyrics, which is true. Thank god (alhumdulilaay) that's what she assumed..I said I didn't remember because I have a lot of mix CDs and don't know all the artists. YIKES. I don't know what would happen if they found out, but I dont want to deal with anything besides normal cultural adjustment issues. There are other queer folk in the USA group so that helps.

Yikes I've been wearing the same outfit for a week too, but that's cuz the laundry action here is all wierd and my other clothes are just as sweat skanky as the ones I have on. They have a maid do the laundry every Monday and I missed the day last week, but the mom told me to put all my dirty clothes in this bucket today so I did, only to find out that I'm not supposed to put my underwear in there cuz its some great insult or something, which I of course did. I guess it's recommended to do my underwear while I shower and hang them all to dry..

Oh. And someone wrote "you're a bitch fuck you" in my guestbook. Well I was uber-salty before I left, and I didn't really hide that in my journals. I guess if it's not someone I know I don't really give a fuck and if it is someone I know I'm concerned. Maybe I said something that was interpreted uncharitably or ..? It's been bothering me that I don't know who it is or what the issue is. I suppose I have this to say--I apologize if I've hurt someone I know by what I've written; I'm not a cruel person (if I am a bit emotional and fucked up sometimes) and I believe I should receive the benefit of the doubt, especially cuz typed diary entries leave little room for subtleties at times. I also think that discussion of specific issues would benefit both parties rather than making sweeping angry statements.

oi.

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26 oct 2005 wed - my dead diary.

14 jun 2004 mon - drug use et al.

11 jun 2004 fri - stuff to take care of

01 jun 2004 tue - quit again again again

30 may 2004 sun - u n l o a d