goddamn im in a fucking bad mood. i woke up that way and other than for a brief time during my djembe lesson this morning, i have not been able to shake it...and here i am at a cyber that has nothing but qwerty keyboards, which i no longer know how to use so i keep typing the wrong fucking keys. im just glad i brought my old school industrial and gabber songs tape with me, pissy music always makes me feel better when i am.maybe im pissy coz im in the second week cycle of adepal, the french birth control i started taking last month to prevent the creation of new cysts on my ovaries. well, at least its probably the most normal health problem ive ever had. haha.
maybe im pissy coz i havent slept for shit in days. my mom gave me a dreamcatcher she made, but i think i must be using it backwards coz ive had nothing but vivid nightmares, generally with people i know back in the states, every night since. that means ive been sleeping for shit. still, i like to dream even if i dont sleep well as a result of the content. for example, last night i dreamt about
coming back to the states and seeing josh k in some dimly lit low ceiling room. he was fat, and wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans and we hugged while we talked. i was really happy to see him, but i had to tell him that i was really hurt and kind of angry that he hadnt bothered to contact me the whole time i was here. i was crying and he didnt say anything but just sort of looked at me in a pathetic way...then later i was with v and she had her harness on and we were trying to have sex but it wasnt going very well..and the whole thing involved a lot of interactions that werent working and dark rooms that were similar to the first floor of my house in prairie du sac... i have a lot of my bad dreams in that setting. i always pay attention when i dream there since that was such a hard time, i wonder about the potential significance of dreamevents taking place in that setting. the night before i had an ominous dream there involving jordan and music and trying to shit.
...
this morning adji (my host sister) was going to be late for work like usual and was a little worried about it (but sort of laughing too, she hates her bosses). i half jokingly told her she should tell them if they want her there on time they should pay her more (she makes about $2.40 a day). she said if she said that they would remind her that as a young unmarried female she should be so lucky to have a job at all.
the company is a french tele-information center. she conducts cold-calling product usage surveys to pissy old french people who scream at her everyday for calling their house. i know how annoying having people call you all the time to sell you shit is, but for real its not like the people at the other end love their job and are calling you for the pleasure of bothering you. on top of it all, in order to have a higher rate of response, adji is required to take on a white french name and a parisian accent.
at least sometimes she gets funny calls..like the other day she began with an old french man
> sir, do you have a fax machine in your home?
>what? no, i havent taken my suppository yet this morning
> quoi!? okay, mer�i
>click!<
adji was laughing too hard to try to correct the poor guy, who maybe was living in a nursing home and thought she was a nurse..
