um, fuck.so i just read some entries of a girl i know whom i havent been following for some time (i usually dont have time to do more than business and email and sometimes write in this here diary) and found out that shes apparently addicted to heroin. :( suck>. the only thing i can really relate to being addicted to is cigarettes, and in early high school i had to trip out like once a week or more and had to be stoned as often as possible; but these arent really the same thing. well, actually nicotine is as addictive as heroin although the benefits of doing nicotine im sure are easier to let go of than those of heroin and the withdrawal is more tolerable... thank you, biopsychololgy.
heroin was always on my list of DoNots, as in i dont want to do them cuz they scare me. like when i started doing drugs i made some rules...coke was on that list although i ended up doing it by accident and then did it a few times afterwards. the accident was that i smoked it in a cigarette that was being passed around, not realizing until i had a very pleasant sensation that it was more than a smoke. but, i saw what coke was doing to the friend that accidentally introed me to it and kept away after the first few times. the other DoNot is crack. after seeing how crack affected the life of my brother and some of his friends i reconfirmed that one as well.
i kind of forgot about drugs and american sorts of life problems, there just is no drug culture here, except the occasional pothead. hm, i have done pot of all sorts, lots of acid (relatively - probably about two sheets between the ages of 14 and 17), mushrooms, various prescription pills, special k, coke, meth, glass, various sorts of liquor, used to smoke, e, etc.
i also forgot about depression and normal american life. people here almost never will say they are unhappy. probably having such harsh poverty in their faces makes them more grateful than someone who has not had that in their face all their lives is really capable of being.
you know i feel like so much is happening and i never have time to process or document any of it; which is important to me. like i never write in my paper journal and i rarely write in here.. life here is in my face so much, and now i like typing my diary better than writing it; its faster and i like that its public.
fucking a. what will happen when i get to the usa? im excited to see the people i miss and such, but im nervous to go back; i forgot about americans' problems.
