i miss senegal. social constraints are a blessing and a pain in the ass at the same time. and i bitched a lot about the social shit there that was annoying, but i was getting used to it. i dont know how to deal with people here because people dont know how to deal with me. not that im special, just that im another human being and there are no established rules for interacting with them here.there its like there was this set of rules that if you follow you can get along with pretty much anyone. maybe its like that here, but i dont see it. there are sets of phrases that one chooses from to heavily greet everyone, and its really nice to be acknowledged even if its tiring doing all the exchanges all the time. and you always shake people's hands, not just strangers or business partners. even your friends. it says, hi, you are a human and i will treat you with respect so long as you dont give me a reason not to.
and you say asalaam malekuum, it says hello to everyone. there were just positive vibes in the air all the time. peole always smiling and being thankful for what they have and realizing it could be much worse, though looking to get more.
its not like there arent plenty of things i *didnt* like there, but there are things i dont like here, too. i dont hate it here, either. im pretty satisfied considering all the shit im processing. but i still miss senegal. its hard to deal with people here. theres no effort, just a sort of take me or leave me and eat shit and die. i find myself responding to that by being kind of quiet and observational. unless im in a mood. its feels wierd not to be all like, in people's faces with all the greetings and such. i have this perception that there is then this tension between the people meeting that really doesnt need to be there.
how did america become such a fucking mutant monster experiment gone wrong? i guess if you build a nation on wrong doing thats what you get. but..the activist community keeps me sane. giant puppets and political discourse; planning meetings and casual brainstorming. data input counter to all that i see wrong with this empire.
