happy birthday?drunk is what i am.
he had a SUV
i was trying to ask him if he really believed in what he was advertising with his truck or if he was just for $$$$, post-script: his SUV was covered in advertising, i was seeking to know if he had personal interest in the company or if he'd sold the outside of his car to be used like a billboard)
he said, do you know how ugly you look right now? he had skinny snivelly white smile.
and so i hit him. i wanted to hit the fuck out of him, i wanted to see blood fly. i didnt care about what he "might" do to me, but i wanted his skin to be pulp. but everyone said no, kelly, what are you doing.
i knew what i was doing. i didnt give a fuck about police - what were some bitch ass police from madison going to do?? what was this little whore going to do? get out of your fucking SUV with you're guards! let me deck them in their fat diaphragms! crawl baby, i have NO FEAR of ordinary civilians.
goddamn i wanted to kick the shit out of this fucker. dont fucking tell me what the fuck ugly means. dont sit in your little fuckin car and think that it makes you safe. i can break your little shit ads. i can break your little shit face. everyone was so concerned when i hit him, like he deserved respect. fuck him. i was happy to have hit him, i wish his cocky ass would have got out of the car so i could have fucking layed into him. he has no idea what the fuck was coming to him... i would have been so satisfied. no matter what his crew did to me, it couldnt compare to what i was ready for.
and i understand philosophically that he was just a symptom of the larger problem. but that didnt stop me from drinking too much and asking carrie and nate to stop their car so i could puke out of it. that didnt stop from me wanting to pound and pound and pound, til he was an unrecognizable mass of blood and muscle.
god. i suppose i ought to thank my lucky stars that everyone intervened as i have a million times in the past. but i have a lust for violence, and this is something that the pigs gave to me
