due to retentive anal-ness, this entry appears to be on friday. alas, it is on christmas day eve. things to report:*i am totally and hopelessly and ridiculously in love. i keep waiting for the other shoe to drop - in fact, i think parts of me have tried to instigate it. but whenever some Thing arises, it only serves to create better understanding between us and deeper bond still.
i am really happy, so far as my relationship - and indeed, relationships - is/are concerned. my family rules, i dont mind interacting with other human beings again, i love the piss out of my (oh god here comes the word) husband and he i. usually i say partner. but other times i say husband...i fear that word, i fear all the shit that is associated with it. people who find out that im 23 and married look at me in a totally different way. like im one of the norms...hm. or like i must be really fucked up, depending who it is. and then they hear me say something like, damn angelina joli is fucking hot shit. oh, my, the confusion flows off their facial expressions. but they respectfully dont ask, dont say a word, just look and ponder.
when i use the word 'partner,' people assume i mean my partner is self-identified as female. when i asked about partnership benefits in my interview for The Job, my interviewee said that yes they do offer domestic partnerships - with certain qualifications of course. now, d.p. does not necessarily indicate that she thought i meant my partner was a female - but further commentary revealed that this was so.
anyway i guess i'd rather use the word partner because i feel the set of associations with that word are more in tune to who we are, who i am, than the associations conjured by those who hear the word 'husband.' that and the fact that to be legally (and religiously) married is a priviledged status and i'd like to promote vocabulary that provides equality and is (relatively) free of gender and sex idioms.
*i am currently reading cunt by inga muscio. while i dont agree with every little thing she says, the book is still really fucking amazing and i suggest you go read it right now. when i am done i plan on pushing it on as many people as possible. hopefully they will actually read it and not let it collect dust, unloved, for months. it's one of those books thats been on my 'to read' list forever (well not that long since it's only been out a couple a years), and i finally bought it the other month. i spoiled myself and bought two books at once - cunt, and dress codes by noelle howey.
wow. my cat just somehow erased this whole goddamn thing while cleaning herself on top of my mouse. but then the right-click "undo" brought it all back. yee-haw. speaking of cats, i have never in my life seen cats so fucked up as my moms. when i was cleaning up after our family dinner (turkey, green beans, corn, mashed potatos, etc.), i put the little chunks of turkey left from cutting it up & chucking the bones all into a little bowl near their dish. now, one would think they would be ravenously employing their territorial rights in the household for whom gets to chow down first. but no, that was hours ago, and yet it sits, untouched. george will eat cold canned corn and coffee ground and leaves beheaded beasts on our porch, but wont touch turkey? whisper never wants anything but constant attention (seriously), cat food, and water. and smudge...well, smudge likes to jump into the bathtub and scratch incessantly at the walls. enough said.
ponge, i think, had a pretty dope xmas. he got a used barbell set, hella warm socks, two nice sweaters that he looks damn good in, and a cd/mp3 player. i know he felt bad for not getting shit for other people, but i told him he could give them "gift certificates." so i helped him with the language and he made cards for my mom & nate and carrie. my mom gets one breakfast, lunch, or dinner at the location & date of her choice, provided by and spent with ponge. and carrie & nate get one evening at a bar or restaurant, provided by and spent with ponge. that way they get nice time spent with each other.
despite my consum-mass amounts of shit boycott, i still got some physical presents...which, of course, everyone likes to get presents. so i wasn't mad, especially as i was assured they weren't bought at walmart. fukin walmart. so, my friend diane got me an old 35mm camera the quality of which i have yet to determine, and i got socks & a nice hat for biking (skinny but warm, and with earflaps!). plus i plan on regularly stealing ponges socks, heh.
well piss, i should go to bed. i have to work tomorrow. i have my schedule up until the 18th of january, in which i have a total of 4 days off - none of which are in a row. and my dumb ass took a shift for some girl during my racial discussion group on the 11th, so i have to get out of that tomorrow. if i cant get out of it i seriously think im going to ask people to wait a week to meet. because goddamn if i am going to miss the next discussion - it should be a good one!
